Tenses
by Saikusan
Summary: Hinata knew it was not going to end well. But his heart still ached for the person he wanted most...


Hinata moaned with pleasure and embarrassment.

Not wanting to look at what the boy was doing to him, he muffled his cries into the nearest pillow. He could feel his head going numb and all thoughts evaporating as he was being bought to the peak of climax, only to be restricted from releasing his desire. He turned his face from where he was biting onto the material and leaving it wet. Hinata finally looked down to be met with piercing eyes staring up at him, his mouth going back down to firmly latch onto Hinata's painfully hard member. Not breaking eye contact, the boy took him further into his mouth, to the point where Hinata was touching the back of his throat. Hinata cried in ecstasy and broke eye contact when he arched his back of the bed and scrunched up his eyes.

"Look at me" a rough and low voice commands and Hinata opens his eyes as soon as it's said. Looking back down and meeting his eyes again makes his heart beat even faster, and his body heat even more, which makes him think is impossible to feel any hotter then he already is. Face red, body sweating and his manhood feeling unbearably sensitive, staring into the eyes of the person who gives the last flick of his tongue is Hinata's undoing. He muffles his screams into his arm while he climaxes and his body twitches with the after effects of his orgasm. Not hearing the other boy move, Hinata opens his eyes to see him leaning over him, his body directly above his, only being supported by his arm on the bed. His head finally returns to reality after the pleasurable experience, and his body tenses with embarrassment, averting his eyes by looking down.

Sensing this change, the black haired boy leans down and whispers into the smaller boy's ear. "I hope you don't always react like this after, or I'm going to forever have your cock in my mouth to keep you from being like this." Hinata's eyes widen in shock, his cheeks burning when he looks and sees the boy's face which is serious.

"I-I'm not even doing anything." Hinata stutters after finding his voice. The other boy sighs and leans back to sit on the bed. Hinata sits up, feeling dizzy from the blood rushing to his head. Sitting cross-legged and facing towards the other boy, Hinata stares at his hanged head which begins to rise and their eyes meet, his face expressionless. "You were the one who confessed to me." He says in a low voice, enabling Hinata to see what emotion he may be feeling. All the colour vanishes from Hinata's face, leaving him face-to-face with his underlying fear. A chill runs up his back, all pleasure from moments ago lost, only to be replaced with the feeling of heart ache. _Why does it have to be like this? Why did he even do this with me?_ Questions run through Hinata's mind while the other boy just shakes his head, standing up and putting on a t-shirt. After a few silent moments, Hinata finally speaks.

"Why?" The question hangs in the air, the other boy looks down at Hinata on the bed, whose arms are wrapped around himself. Hinata looks up, trying to hold back his emotion.

"Y-you didn't have to do this." Hinata whispers.

"You didn't have to do anything..." his voice wavers but he continues to stare at the other body, refusing to back down.

"You don't even love me." Hinata chokes out.

The other boy just smiles after a moment, right back at Hinata, his eyes cold and then grabs his bag and walks out of the room. The sound of the front door slamming shut echoes in the air. Hinata sits there still naked. His body shivering from the cold air, or that's what he wanted to think. He thought how numb he felt, hollow and empty, but kept the bottled emotions from pouring out. His chest physically aches, his heart hammering and finding it hard to breath, he falls back down, laying on his side. The dam bursts and with one chocked sob, Hinata let's go, thinking it will never stop. _What am I going to do?_ The thought stays in his mind, along with memory of the haunting smile and he blacks out.

* * *

 **2 weeks earlier.**

"One more!" Hinata eagerly shouts to Kageyama.

He runs full speed to the side with no blockers and with all his strength jumps as high as he can. Opening his eyes he sees the ball and spikes it.  
"YES!" Hinata and the setter both shout, raising their fists when they get a point. Hinata stares at his palm, glowing red and feels his heart ache with achievement.  
"Oi dumbass focus!" He hears Kageyama shout at him, which in turn makes his heart beat even more and his body heat further.

It's been some months now since Hinata had joined Karasuno's volleyball team and has been "number 10" like his idol the little giant. Being part of a team is something Hinata grasps onto every day and loves every minute of it, even if he had to start off with the enemy. Tobio Kageyama. A few months ago Hinata could not even imagine being in the same room as him again, let alone being his teammate and occasional friend. The only other thing to make it even more unbelievable...Hinata was in love with Kageyama. Okay maybe not 'love' but strong feelings which confuse and scare the hell out of me Hinata thought. He didn't even know what 'love' is with another person, 'love' to him has always been volleyball.

"Ugh" Hinata moans. _Why am I even thinking about this?_ Hinata carried on a conversation with himself, completely not noticing Kageyama walking, _striding_ , towards him. "OW!" Hinata looks up after Kageyama hits him in the head.

"What was that for?!" He fumes looking at Kageyama who looks pissed off.

"You keep staring off into space and NOT spiking balls." Irritated, he flicks Hinata in the forehead.

"Whose fault do you think that is?" Hinata mumbles not censoring what comes out of his mouth. Luckily for him, Kageyama was too annoyed to hear and walked back giving Hinata a menacing glare. Volleyball is too important to let this affect me, Hinata tries to get his mind to focus again.

After the teams practice match, coach Ukai and most of the players go home, leaving Hinata, Kageyama, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in the gym.

"I'm going." Tsukishima says, not really to anyone and walks out.

"I-I'll walk with you." Yamaguchi shouts and runs to catch up with him, waving goodbye to Hinata and Kageyama.

Alone, Kageyama and Hinata practice their quick's, nobody speaking, just the sound of the volleyball and the squeaking of shoes. After an unknown length of time, Hinata begrudgingly realises the time and has to go home. "It's late I'm heading home." He says to his setter, after his final spike. Picking up the stray volleyballs lying around, Hinata goes to get his bag. Realising Kageyama hasn't said anything, he looks over to see him staring at the ball in his hands, his face covered by his black hair making it unreadable. Hinata puts his hand over his painful chest, holding back his emotions as he looks at the unreachable boy in front.

"Kageyama?" The question comes out in a small voice, but the black haired boy looks up with a frown and throws the ball at Hinata.

Managing to catch it to his relief, or Kageyama would kill him for his failure, He sees him walk over to the position where he throws the ball for Hinata to spike it.

"One more." Kageyama tells him, sighing to not show his frustration, Hinata throws the ball and runs to jump the toss Kageyama gives him. Smiling at the warming feeling spiking gives him, he turns around to finally leave. But is unable to. Unable to move, the smile leaves his face when he's confronted with Kageyama's expression. Pain? Hinata doesn't know, but never seeing the setter so tormented, not ever really seeing anything but a blank expression, makes Hinata paralysed. The feelings swoop in and entangles the boy to the point where he feels like he's choking. Getting a grip on himself, he starts to think what he should do. Not really being close enough to Kageyama to ever really talk about personal things, Hinata doesn't know what to do. Deep down he would love to be able to comfort Kageyama, talk about his issues and for him to tell Hinata things he would never tell anyone. Shaking his head to rid the impossible thoughts, Hinata walks towards the boy.

"Hey, you okay?" Thinking of nothing else to say, but not wanting to just leave, Hinata waits for Kageyama to say something. After a few moments of Silence, Kageyama looks up and tells Hinata to go home while grabbing another ball and doing a jump serve.

"You should go home to, it's getting late, idiot." Hinata huffs feeling awkward around Kageyama's strange mood.

"Oi you listening to me?" Hinata shouts when Kageyama ignores him.

Hinata found himself wanting Kageyama to return to his normal moody self, where he'd shout at Hinata and call him a 'dumbass', instead of seeing this unknown person. Walking towards Kageyama, Hinata reaches towards him to mess with him and hopefully return his mood back. Noticing the shorter boy about to touch him, Kageyama pushes Hinata in the face, making the boy fall onto his back. Thinking Kageyama was just messing, even though it really hurt, Hinata looked up to complain and gasped.

"Go the fuck home!" Kageyama's face showed he was not joking, his face was terrifying, not just how it is normally, but enough to make Hinata cower in fear. Jumping up and grabbing his bag, Hinata ran out of the gym, not daring to look back.

* * *

Hinata had showed his insecurities to Kageyama. Even the first time they met, Hinata had cried on those steps after losing to him. Even after declaring Kageyama his enemy and all the hurtful comments he made to Hinata, saying he's not essential to winning. Even after Kageyama pushing him down like he was worthless...Hinata still wanted him. Hinata wanted to go back and make sure he was okay, to still spike his balls…to touch him. After running out of the gym, Hinata ran to the bike shed and sat on the ground trying not to cry. _Stupid, stupid feelings!_ Hinata battled with himself inside his head, after some time the battle ended and Hinata resigned standing up and wiping at his eyes. _Why am I going back? He said he didn't want me there._ Yet Hinata found himself outside of the gymnasium, his heart beating faster and sweat gathering on his face. Taking a deep breath to find courage, Hinata walked silently in. Kageyama was leant against one of the walls his hands on his head. Slowly waking towards him, Hinata swallowed and stood before him.

Kageyama realising who it was and not looking up, sighed. "Why are you so persistent?" Kageyama mutters and looks up with an expression which Hinata thinks looks like defeat.

"You know it's really late, don't you want to go home?" Hinata asks, concerned but maintaining most of his emotions.

"Ha" Kageyama huffs a strained smile appearing on his face. _Jeez why is he so scary and yet I find myself completely drawn in him by him._

"No point me going home anyway." He mumbles the smile falling. Hinata realised this must be the reason for Kageyama's change in mood, he has to go home. Family troubles? Hinata wonders and feels useless, not knowing how to help. Normally Hinata would feel nervous and flushed by being alone with the setter this late, but all his thoughts focused on how to help the person he cared for.

"What's happened?" Hinata asked, only getting a shake of his head as response. Thinking to try and lighten the mood, Hinata sits down, crossed legged and punches Kageyama in the arm lightly.

"What ya gonna do then? Sleep In here all night? Be careful of the ghosts of previous volleyball players." Hinata jokes making 'whoo' sounds.

"Idiot" Kageyama mutters, giving a small smile which makes Hinata's heart skip two beats. Looking Hinata squarely in the eye with a serious expression, Kageyama asks "why do you even care?" Hinata having no filter from a mix of tiredness and the pleasure of seeing Kageyama's small smile blurts out the truth. 

"Well because I love you." 

_Huh? What did I just say?_ Hinata's thoughts become a huge mess and forgets he still has a smile on his face. Reality plummets down, making Hinata's blood rise to his head, his checks and neck gets red and his heart thumps so loudly he feels like it will escape. Waving his hands around in the air like a lunatic, Hinata doesn't dare to look at Kageyama.

"I-I-I M-mean..." Hinata stutters trying to find a way out of his mess. Keeping his head bowed low, Hinata doesn't know how to escape from this, and he just sits and stares at his legs in embarrassment. Unexpectedly feeling something against his chin, he realises Kageyama is pulling his face up with his finger, resulting in the red-faced Hinata being in direct eye contact with the King. His head bursting into flames, he opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Blue cold eyes stare into his amber ones, hoping the ground will swallow him, Hinata just stares.

"Want to go out with me?" Kageyama announces in a monotone voice, leaving Hinata gaping.

* * *

 **Present.**

Hinata wakes up to his head banging and his eyes swollen. Having slept for a few hours, though having unpleasant dreams, his body aches from being left in the cold and the activities of the night before. Managing to get up, Hinata has a shower and gets ready for school. _Volleyball is my main priority. Volleyball is my main priority._ Hinata keeps this mantra in his head, trying not to let his mind wander. Hinata's body trembles and eyes start watering as he thinks of being face to face with that person again. Refusing to back down, Hinata manages to go to school. After being careful to not see him all day, through sneaking around and thanking god they don't have classes together, school finally ends. All day Hinata has been trying to make himself feel positive, but mostly being met with a heavy heart and a tight chest. Realising his two 'loves' interlink, Hinata battles for the love which won't hurt him. Trying to get excited for volleyball practice, and forgetting who will be there, Hinata runs to the gym, loving the way the cool air hits his heated face and the blood pumping through his body helps him to calm down. "Just walk in there, you don't even have to speak to him." Hinata whispers to himself, as he opens the doors. As soon as he walks in he finds Daichi and Suga doing warm up passes, Asahi practicing his jump serve, with Nishinoya receiving them. Looking around he sees Tanaka staring at Shimizu who is talking to Yachi. Hinata breathes a sigh of relief to know he isn't here yet.

"Hi Hinata!" Suga waves, a kind smile on his face, which makes Hinata feel even more breakable. Sensing Hinata's discomfort, Suga smiles at Daichi and walks over.

"You okay? You don't look well." Suga asks concerned, a frown on his face as he looks down to check Hinata.

"Y-yeah j-just tired." Hinata manages to get out, although his voice breaks. Suga understands and smiles "I'm here if you need me." He says and walks off.

"Alright we've got a practice match against Nekoma coming up, so today I want to see what all of you have been working on." Coach Ukai shouts as he walks in. "We'll do another practice match with the same teams as befo-" he stops looking around. "Where's the setter, glasses and the other kid?" He asks to Daichi.

"Tsukishima and Yamaguchi texted to say they won't be coming today...nobody has seen Kageyama today." Hinata looks over, shocked at what Daichi just said. He would never miss practice, not even the time when he had the flu he still crawled in. Hinata starts to worry, this was really strange.

"Okay, we'll do three-on-three, Suga being on Hinata's team." Coach Ukai says looking pissed. "Hai!" the team shouts.

After scoring a few points, Hinata realises his minds not in it today, the thrill of spiking has been taken away with the worry which is eating at him. "Sorry Hinata that you couldn't practice your quick's today." Suga says after the match is over, their team losing. Hinata unusually has no energy today and with sweat pouring off him, he tries to control his heartbeat.

"It's not your fault Suga, sorry I lost so many points." Hinata replies breathlessly. Reaching his water bottle, he downs it and sits down with aching muscles.

"Hinata don't worry, you've been really out of it today...has something happened with Kageyama?" Suga asks sittings down on the floor next to him. Hearing that name makes him pale and the worry bite into him more. Trying to act indifferent, Hinata avoids Suga's gaze.

"N-no, I don't know why the idiot isn't here." he replies, his face flush and his chest tightening. Suga seeing through Hinata's act puts his arm around the younger boy, making him look up at his elder's face. Suga smiling down at Hinata and the feel of his arm makes him break a little and the emotion shows on his face. Knowing he can trust his upperclassmen, he leans into Suga and chokes on a sob, making his heart even more painful. "I just don't know what to do..." Hinata breathes. Suga just sits there silently, rubbing Hinata's shoulder, while the younger boy fails to keep his emotions intact.


End file.
